My Daughter

My daughter locked herself in the bathroom yesterday morning. Church is starting in 5 minutes and she will not come out. I pulled off my "I am bad if I don't get to church on time" hat and put on my "daughter is more improtant than being to church on time hat". She said go to church and we will talk later. No, You are more important. I am not going to church without you....more time passes. Do you want to open the door or do you want dad to open the door. She decided to open the door (she is smart enough to know that dad opening door with a little tool is not going to help her stay locked in bathroom). So we go into her room and she will not talk. So I say I will give you "yes or no" questions.  They ended up being short answer but it worked. 
Does it have to do with school or home? ....Home
Does it have to do with a thing or with family? family
Does it have to do with parents or siblings? ...parents
Does it have to do with mom or dad?...mom
.......ME???

Does it have to do with yoga? ...kind of
Does it have to do with spending time with mom? ....kind of
Does it have to do with work?....Kind of
Does it have to do with kids yoga? No, I like that....(inside I say yea because these are my hardest to teach)
Does it have to do with .....finally she opens up

She is feeling like my work is taking to much time away from the family. She is feeling like during the summer all I did was work and she had to babysit and cook. (She did have to help more) She feels like we never go camping anymore. She had so much fun when we went out to dinner and bowling just before my oldest son left for school. She says she misses family activies and games and ...etc.

I feel the same way. I talked to my husband on Saturday after I was canceled at my nursing job. I could have shouted at my excitement of being called off. I got to go to the soccer game and ward party. It was great to spend time with my husband. Yes, shocking!!! Miracles are happening in our relationship. We are actually talking and even having more sex. Yes, it is good to feel. Giving myself permission to feel has been such a blessiing. ...
back to story...

My daughter listened to me talk about how really the yoga was my way to have more time with the family. I have more flexibility also. I called my husband to join into the conversation. He said he felt like yoga was taking more time but now he see's how mom (me) feels. He told her that on Fridays my anxiety goes up because of work, work is busy and stressful- adrenaline needed, and then on Sunday I am recovering from adrenaline. He GOT IT!!! Entire weekend gone. She understood how it would be a blessing for me to not work Saturdays. My husband has seen the blessing of TIME for our relationship. It is amazing. 

So now the hard part...talking to work. Now I will rephrase this into a new way after not sleeping well last night. I see myself going to work today to talk to them. The right people being available. I see them wanting to integrate mindfulness and yoga in to the hospital for employee and patient wellness. I see work wanting to change the hospital dynamics for nurses. I am getting abundance of time and money. Two things that seem at odds with each other.

Purpose: Write down what your purpose is!!!
After some long thought on Friday and Saturday, I know what my purpose is:
To have quality relationships with God, Self, Husband, and Children that involve lots of quality time, quality activities, memories, and Vacations. I have abundance thinking, spiritual growth, great faith (LOA), physcical health, Meditation practice, happiness, joy, peace, love and abundance of energy, knowlege, wisdom. I have abundance of money. I bless other's through my personal health. I bless others through my yoga and mindfulness business. 

   

Grateful: For my daughter talking to me, my husband helping with dinner yesterday, feeding the missionaries, rain and it's clean feel (we had a down pour), love, time and it's healing power, good nights sleep (I was up at 3 am and many other times), for my many moments of patients with my children (I was so exhausted by my 7 year old and her not getting ready for bed, that I momentarily lost it...notice and come back...life happens...no shame....love), laughter (I started reading the book Wonder to my kids yesterday and my 5 year old just laughed at all the potty talk...I even had to laugh at his understanding of a book with no pictures. I think all boys come wired with potty minds...lol), dishwashers, washing machines, and maids (yes for the last few months I have had a maid and it is heavenly. After years of dreading cleaning, I decided to spend my allowance on a maid and my husband said, "no, I can't let you spend your allowance on a maid" and I now we have one in the family budget...I opened up an account for my allowance...not sure what I want with it yet.) 


Plan: I am attracting...
Every weekend with my husband and family. my husband manifesting more money for our family. To have a quality vacation next summer as a family. A trip with my husband....? what. I am attracting visualization abillies. I am attracting an upstairs yoga and media room, new furnishings, new floors, and new pictures and curtains in the next year. I am creating a healthy brain. I am attracting personal growth through my yoga business and mindfulness business. I am attracting a testimony of the priesthood. 

plan today- go talk to work and I will talk to the right people. Appointment with another subdivision. I will be given what I desire to make teaching mindfulness and yoga- $160 hour. I see what is best for my purpose being fulfilled as I talk with work and other subdivision. I even have a cross fit wanting yoga instruction I need to follow up on. I know what is best to fullfill my purpose will open up and doors that need to close will close.